I was curious, he was watching telly, so I did this! 25 quick fire questions that my poor, unsuspecting husband got attacked with the other night:
How do you reckon it feels to be pregnant?
Sore. Sore and angry.
Do you think you could do it?
Yep. Really? It’s a common misconception that women have the market cornered on pain. They don’t!
Do you know what a trimester is?
It’s a quarter, no wait, it’s the 3 periods of your pregnancy!
We have two beautiful daughters. Can you remember their birth dates and times?
*big exhalation of air…June 21st just after midnight, October 16th just after 7am. Am I right on either of them? Nope, incorrect on both! This is really unfair!
On a scale of one to ten, how painful do you think labor is? Honestly!
Well it can’t be ten, ‘cos ten is a screaming death…errr…I’ll give it an 8.
How did you feel during the whole labor process?
Bored. Until the last hour. It went on a long time and you were asleep a lot!
Do you know what an episiotomy is?
It’s when they split your fanny to make the baby come out. I can give you the medical terminology if you like! It’s when they cut your bits…
Do you view me differently now having watched me give birth?
Yes. Because it was yucky! No seriously, I respect you more.
How did you feel becoming a Dad?
How has it changed your life?
I’m f*****n shattered all the time!
What is your biggest worry as a Parent?
That I’ll die before the girls can look after themselves.
What would be your go-to outfit’s for the girls?
Jeans or dungarees, long sleeve shirt with t-shirt over it and runners. So basically how you dressed throughout the 90’s? Yep!
How do you always manage to find the one item of clothing that doesn’t fit them properly?
Let’s rephrase the question: Why don’t you get rid of the stuff that doesn’t fit them anymore??
What is your nightmare parenting scenario?
Both kids with colds awake at the same time at 2 in the morning while wife refuses to get out of bed. (This would never happen!!)
What’s one thing you’ve lost since having children?
What’s one thing you’ve gained since having children?
Apart from weight? A complete lack of perspective on everything! I don’t see anything outside of my family unit right now. You guys are my priority.
Would you give up your job to be a stay at home dad?
Nope! Not unless you died. Or were earning seriously good money…
What’s the best thing about being a parent?
When your kids make you laugh. I was trying to get the wee one dressed the other day and she wouldn’t stop hugging me and giggling.
What’s the worst thing about being a parent?
Being tired and shouting at small people.
Describe your parenting style.
Erratic. Inconsistent. Survival based!
Why do you insist on throwing the girls in the air all the time?
Because they like it. And because it looks funny.
Do you think you parent the same way your parents did?
I hope f****n not!
What is the most important value to instill in your kids?
Apart from cynicism? Self belief and empathy.
What do you wish for your girls for the future?
Happiness. And a good right cross.
What advice would you give Dad’s to be?
Be honest, don’t sugarcoat things. Do your best to be patient.