You will spend a mini lifetime with me, inside and out, but you will never fully know your Mother. Believe it or not, there was a time before you came along when I was young, single, foolish, in love, heartbroken, impressionable!
So if I die before I wake, here are ten things you never knew about your mother:
- I loved being barefoot as a child. I know, I know, I constantly tell you to put on socks/shoes/slippers or you’ll ‘get sick’. Honestly? You won’t. Being barefoot rocks! (Until you stand on something).
- The worst nosebleed I ever had was when I was 8 years old and your aunty punched me in the face. On the flip side though, she once caught me at the bottom of the stairs after I had tumbled all the way down. I guess they cancel each other out.
- When I get so mad at you that I have to turn away, it’s usually because I’m laughing. I’m sorry! It’s just that now and again, parenting becomes the ridiculous, like when you go crazy because I put a dress on Ken dolls head or when you got stuck in a box you’d sat in! If us parents can’t have a laugh sometimes then we would go mental.
- When I was 6, I jumped off a gym horse and sprained my ankle. Your Grandma bought me a pair of red flip flops to cheer me up. They had a footprint on the insole and red and white stripy straps – deadly! Your aunty got a matching blue pair. Grandma often did that, dressed us like twins even though we clearly weren’t – it was kind of an 80’s thing. You can have a proper giggle at the photos when you’re older.
- I didn’t always look like this!
- Family legend has it that I was weaned on Baileys. Ah how different parenting was in the 80’s! I still adore Baileys, a love that has lasted a lifetime. It has no equal.
- Christmas, Easter and Halloween are my favorite holidays because I can either eat shit tonnes of chocolate without being guilty of double standards, or I can dress you in ridiculous outfits for a laugh.
- I’ve been in cars and on the backs of motorbikes with boys driving too fast; if you EVER, I will kill you!! We believe we’re indestructible when we’re young. We are not.
- I have never loved anything in my life as much as I love you. Including your Dad. Don’t tell him that, he’ll only get a cob on…
- I have jumped out of a plane, scaled mountains and white water rafted crazy rapids. I’ve been a hair’s breadth away from crocodiles, snakes and killer spiders. I’ve been lost in foreign lands.
But I can honestly say the scariest thing I’ve ever done is raising you two!!