The Cynical Dad – Questions

So, as parents, we generally lead our children to believe that we have all the answers (and yes, “Just coz!” counts as an answer).

But do we?

Let me help you out here – no. No we do not. In fact, I have many questions myself; some to do with parenting, some just general wonderingments.

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Please help a guy out and post some answers in the comments section below! Best answers WIN (my admiration).

How is it children, specifically teenage boys, who spend all their days pressing buttons on phones and Playstations cannot use the same movement to flush a toilet or turn off a light switch?

How often do children change their minds about the foods they like, and would they care to let us parents in on this schedule so we can adjust shopping and meals accordingly?

Are they programmed at birth to know when you are just starting to relax/go to the bathroom/have a shower?

And do they get together to synchronise and plan who’s going to interrupt with a ridiculous request next?

When did they change how addition is taught in schools? Seriously, it’s addition. One of the few things in their homework I am confident I can help with. Apparently “carrying the 1” is not the done thing anymore. And don’t get me started on Letterland vs Phonics!

When did teenagers going to discos start dressing like 20 year old hookers going to discos?? I know I sound old and grumpy but back in my day, girls (and boys actually!) wore baggy jumpers and Wrangler jeans. I understand that times and fashions move on, but somewhere between completely covered up and barely covering the essentials would be good.

I’m hoping that it goes full circle and we’re back to Nirvana t-shirts and stone-washed jeans by the time my youngest and only daughter gets to that stage.

How do food companies get away with making two of the exact same product, slapping a well-known brand name on one, a shop label on the other and charging two massively different prices??

Why do kids “prefer” the branded products despite showing them that they’re the same as the own-brand versions? (Actually, this one probably answers the question above – the kids have the real buying power).

Has anyone ever actually caught their death from going outside or to bed with wet hair? I’d like to see that coroner’s report – “Cause of Death: The eejit didn’t listen to Mammy”

How does Google Maps work? Really. How does my phone know where I am, tell a satellite somewhere up there, know where I want to go and get an answer, again from outer space?? And still be able to show my daughter videos of other kids opening surprise eggs at the same time???

What a world we live in.

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