The Cynical Dad – Never Work with Children or Animals

This past week brought a whole plethora of crap, so if it’s OK with everyone, I’m just going to have a bit of a rant.

Firstly, illness hit our house, quickly followed by bad parenting.

On Thursday, middle child awoke (was woken by me) saying he felt like he was going to get sick. After the holidays, travel, back to school, etc., I figured he was run down, so let him stay at home for the day. By the evening he was back to normal, so I said he’d be fine to go to school again Friday. Good parenting, right?

WRONG!

On Friday morning, said middle child was tired but OK, and so was packed off to school along with the youngest. Eldest said he was now feeling unwell, so he stayed home.

At the time I thought maybe he’d caught whatever middle child had the previous day. In hindsight, I think he may be due for an Oscar nomination.

Anyway, by 9 am I had 3 missed calls from the school and 1 from my mother telling me middle child had puked in school and had to come home. I went from great parent nursing 2 children back to health, to terrible parent duped by one child into a day off while sending the actually sick child to school!

The weekend was survived with no other major incidents. Monday morning rolled around again as it tends to do. After rousing the older 2 and leaving them to get ready for school, I awoke the smallest monster. I came back down to find middle child in tears, holding a now empty box of chocolates (“fancy” ones he got for Christmas).

Naturally eldest was accused (wouldn’t be the first time), but he vehemently denied it. On closer inspection, there were teeth marks in the box.

Now while I have often accused my children of being savages, I don’t think any of them are feral enough to open a box with their teeth.

Realisation dawned that the beloved dog had eaten 6 luxury chocolates during the night! A quick call to the vet meant a day sitting watching the dog for signs of a reaction (i.e. death!). The damn dog was fine and happy out with the attention!

To round off a crappy day, I had to attend the middle child’s Parent-Teacher meeting. Sitting in line time after time to be told, “He’s getting on fine, could work a little harder on the study”.

  1. I live with him – I know what he’s like.
  2. He’s in 1st year, what young lad at that age couldn’t study a bit harder?! They’ve been in school for 12 weeks!! How much damage/genius potential can they have shown in 12 weeks?!! Just tell me he’s grand and move it along. I know they have a job to do, but really, two and a half hours and I still didn’t meet all the teachers?!

So this morning I ended up cursing at a rabbit because it wouldn’t go back into its hutch while I was freezing in a mini-blizzard, all the while contemplating where I might get a “good” sieve.

I used to play in a band. I used to think I was cool. God, what happened?

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